The Resource How not to kill your baby, Jacob Sager Weinstein, (ebook)

How not to kill your baby, Jacob Sager Weinstein, (ebook)

Label
How not to kill your baby
Title
How not to kill your baby
Statement of responsibility
Jacob Sager Weinstein
Creator
Contributor
Subject
Genre
Language
eng
Summary
Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong
Cataloging source
Midwest
http://library.link/vocab/creatorName
Sager Weinstein, Jacob
Dewey number
818/.602
Index
no index present
Literary form
non fiction
Nature of contents
dictionaries
http://library.link/vocab/relatedWorkOrContributorName
hoopla digital
http://library.link/vocab/subjectName
  • Child rearing
  • Parenting
  • Children
  • Parent and child
  • American wit and humor
  • Electronic books
Target audience
adult
Label
How not to kill your baby, Jacob Sager Weinstein, (ebook)
Link
Instantiates
Publication
Distribution
Carrier category
online resource
Carrier category code
cr
Carrier MARC source
rdacarrier
Color
multicolored
Content category
text
Content type code
txt
Content type MARC source
rdacontent
Dimensions
unknown
Extent
1 online resource
Form of item
  • online
  • electronic
Governing access note
Digital content provided by hoopla
Isbn
9781449410391
Isbn Type
(electronic bk.)
Media category
computer
Media MARC source
rdamedia
Media type code
c
Publisher number
MWT11908792
Specific material designation
remote
Stock number
11908792
System control number
MWT11908792
System details
Mode of access: World Wide Web
Label
How not to kill your baby, Jacob Sager Weinstein, (ebook)
Link
Publication
Distribution
Carrier category
online resource
Carrier category code
cr
Carrier MARC source
rdacarrier
Color
multicolored
Content category
text
Content type code
txt
Content type MARC source
rdacontent
Dimensions
unknown
Extent
1 online resource
Form of item
  • online
  • electronic
Governing access note
Digital content provided by hoopla
Isbn
9781449410391
Isbn Type
(electronic bk.)
Media category
computer
Media MARC source
rdamedia
Media type code
c
Publisher number
MWT11908792
Specific material designation
remote
Stock number
11908792
System control number
MWT11908792
System details
Mode of access: World Wide Web

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